The title is how I feel about blogging.
I enjoy writing, I really do! They (you know, "They") say you should keep a blog. They also say you should keep up with your blog. I say I will write this post and maybe another next month or next year. Who knows? I currently have other fires to stoke. Today, however, I decided to take this pan off the burner because it's something that has been cooking for a while and it's time to serve it up to you fine folks.
I will be old enough next year to use the word "folks" constantly and be struggling to start a blog in 2019. That means I ALSO have been schlepping paintings around for years and years and thought I would take a moment to share what it means to art-dopt a painting for your wedding. A marriage is ideally life long and through grace I hope your painting gets to bless many lifetimes! I've only been married barely over a decade but I know a little about both. True to internet form, here is a list of (to be determined number) of things you could experience from your wedding art with a little advice sprinkled in for funzies.
1. You will get so many "ooohs" and "aaaahs" over both your marriage AND your painting! (This will also apply to newborns if those come into the picture) The novelty will wear off for those who see it often and sometimes the novelty will even get tired for you. You will see this painting every day and some days, you will look at it and it will take you back to the sound of your spouses laughter during your fathers speech, or the scent of the perfect spring floral you know you tortured your florist over and it will be great. Then there will be other days when you'll be walking by it with a load of laundry hunting down socks like easter eggs and look at that painting and roll your eyes about how they never mentioned picking up your own socks in the vows.
2. In both your marriage and this painting some knuckle head is going to sneakily hate. We all know this person. They are going to stick their nose right in it and point out the flaws. Watch out for the person who waits til you're standing there vulnerable with a basket of dirty socks and tells you "It could be better." While sure, the painting could always be better that person didn't sit in a crowded, noisey room holding up one arm for 6 hours trying to paint faces the size of a fingernail, in the dark under blue uplights, right? Same with your relationship. I would also like to add an honorable mention to "I'm not in there!" person. Yes, they are joking but on a real note, no. They are not in your marriage. It's a valid reminder.
3. In Sickness and in Health is real. In the case of severe heartbreak or tragedy, pack that painting away in the back of a closet and simply cope. No one is guaranteed perfection, or a long full life. However, that painting will remain. What brought you such an incredible amount of joy for so many years could easily turn on you and break you down every time you see it. If it haunts, hurts or otherwise tortures you don't feel obligated to keep it hung up simply because its art. Pack it away for a while. Take another look in a year. If it still hurts, put it away and take another look in another year. As an artist I have done this with my own work MANY times.
***In the case of heartbreak due to one spouse leaving you under circumstances aforementioned in point #2, you have my permission to stab it. Or bring it to me and I will paint that fool right out of the picture and we will share some sort of soul cleansing food and call them a scumbag. OR paint right over it yourself. Just know there's options.
4. You will find both your marriage and painting can be surpringsly durable, but still treat it like its pretty fragile. Its all in how you handle it. For minor dust, wipe it gently with a dry wipe. For major dust, maybe a barely damp lint-free wipe. For major stains, rips or tears you may need to call in a pro for help. Calling in a pro is a good idea before throwing it in the garbage. (Yes, your marriage or your painting) If you call me for help, don't hold back on the story. I love a good story! Or a bad one to laugh over!
5. What you loved originally may change over time. Your painting will not change, but what you see in it might. Your spouse may change, but your love for them shouldn't. But what you originally loved might change, so you will need to focus on another part of them. Or you may become annoyed at what you originally loved. That t-shirt or shoe collection may be a super cute quirk until you have to wash it. #truestory
6. At some point you may take a look at your painting and not even recognize "those kids" in it. Who were those kids, anyway? Those kids who thought they were getting old and worried about their waists and could travel whenever they wanted and went on fun dates? Let this painting be your reminder to always be those kids in each others' eyes. Have fun. Eat some cake. Spoil each other.
Six seems like a good number so I will stop there for now. I know there's more to add so maybe I'll come up with a part 2 eventually.
*please forgive any typos or grammatical errors. True to form, I started this in 2018 and didn't post it until 2019.
Artist, Wife, Mother of five very cool tiny people.